Felt like my class

This past November a couple of gal friends and I decided to do a 30 day squat challenge. We figured with all the holidays around we wanted to help or butt from falling to the floor.. And, we all wanted the girls butt in the picture.

We started out great, we would knock them out in the morning before work.  And, as they increased some of us broke them down into groups of 10 and did them throughout the day.

November 22 sucked for me. I was at work and forgotten all about my squats. I was at work at my desk and had a few minutes, I figured that knock out 190 of them.

I took my shoes off, raised my desk and proceeded to do the deed. I did them in groups of 10 or 20 making sure I had good form. After that, I lowered my desk back down and went about my work. About 2 hours later I noticed an unusual tightening, I tried a few stretches to loosen it up but it was on its way to seizing up. I didn't  have any way to get home for relief so I worked though the day. As soon as I got home, my husband put tried to work out the muscle kinks and apply ice. All I could think about was I had to to prepare Thanksgiving dinner in two days, what am I going to do? I managed to prepare the meal very carefully with a lot of help from family and friends but, I was not able to finish the squat challenge. That to me was the worst part of it. 

After 2 weeks my back pain finally let up enough for me to attempt a yoga class. I knew my limitations and capabilities to modify when I needed to.  

I arrived to class a little early to relax in the heat and ended up talking with Lauren, the instructor. One thing led to another in conversation and I mentioned that my back was a little weak and that I might have to modify a few poses.

The whole class was amazing and the movements we performed were centered around core strength. Not once did I feel a twinge or a pain or did I have to modify. At the end of class I felt energized and like the class was wrapped around my needs.  Thanks  Lauren at Fire Fly

People are idiots.

Have any frustrations set in yet? Not seeing a difference physically? Are people giving you shitty advice thinking the're helping you?  Telling you that you will never maintain or you will never be successful with a diet. You can't survive on a low calorie plan.

If you've answered yes to any of these questions, welcome to the stupid human race.  Naturally people suck when it comes to helpful advice and don't understand that they are more negative than positive. It's not their fault, people can be idiots.

First of all. We eat! we all have a diet. Some diets are better than others. What you put into it is what you're going to get out of it. Do your homework!

I chose to lose weight and I worked very hard at it. I should be able to brag. I'm proud of what I've accomplished. If you can't be supportive of me, then move on. I don't have time.

Change is hard for people, its baby steps. We have friends and family that mean well, but frankly you need to take what they say with a grain of salt. DON"T eat  the salt, throw it over your left shoulder for good luck.

Second of all. Things take time. Don't be so hard on yourself, you know what you can handle and what you can't. Don't get caught up in the hype. It's not a one size fits all.

Step out of the comfort zone, a little at a time. As you are successful, you try the next thing. I'm in my late 40's and I definitely don't care what other people think anymore. (I always wondered why Grandma was a spit fire.)

I'm a good person, I know that. But, I also know that if I'm good at something I'm going to talk about and share with others to maybe motivate. I love to help other people shine. Tt's not a competition, none of us get out of here alive.

Moral to my story as I RANT away. Be kind to yourself and others. It takes time and you need to keep a positive edge going. It's catchy, trust me.

You ARE seeing results from all your hard efforts, maybe not in clothing size, its only been a couple weeks. But, what you are learning about yourself is much more important.

Be Patient

It's your story. Be Fabulous

So it's January, 2016.  I hope you fabulous people didn't do the same resolutions that didn't work last year. Or make ones that are impossible to reach.

Last year, my resolution was to learn another language because I figured I had the food thing down. I jumped in both feet and worked hard at it. I took classes, bought books and I was going to conquer this. However, life gets in the way and I had to put it on the shelf to study for a work thing. Exceptionally boring stuff I might add.  I'll get back to it this year.

This year my goal or resolution was simple. I wanted to lose 20 lbs to get my eating back on track. All the summer craft beers and margaritas can catch up with you.  Healthy eating and movement have always front and center but something about the end of the year that makes it so final.  A new year makes it feel like it's a free pass to start over and be great at it. I'm working on with some gal pals that have the same mission. When you can network, you have power to get thought situations to vent about and to celebrate victories and there is success in numbers.

Make this year all about you. As I get older it's about pampering yourself a little more, be with loved ones and enjoy life. Over this past year I've met some wonderful people that I now consider friends. New relationships and new ideas have blossomed. In 2015, I took a belly dancing,a burlesque class and I learned yoga.  I accomplished more in 2015 but these ones were memorable moments.

Pole dancing popped up in conversations recently, but that one is on hold. Not sure about that one. I can see myself sliding down a pole flat on my face. My point is try something new. Take a dance class, join a team, yoga or get a dog or cat.

So far January 2016 is working out for me and my food plan. Using hCG Activator I'm down 10 lbs and feeling great.  I keep my self accountable with my chalk  board cupboard doors. I get excited to cross of each day.

Whatever big or small just do something that you can call your own and be fabulous about it.

It's been a week

It's my first week on hCG Activator and I've lost 6 lbs in 3 days. I put together a 6 week challenge of a consistent exercise and an eating plan. I've cleared my calendar so nothing is to get in my way.  I've taken the time to set this up, but what really put me over the edge was my waist measurement. I gained 3 inches around my middle.  I thought I was going to lose my mind. I knew my pants were getting tight and I would try on 12 tops before settling for the one that hid the muffin top the most. I don't even like muffins!

I know you gain weight rather slowly but you always seem to justify it until something happens and BOOM where that 20 lbs come from? Time to reel it in.

My first experience with hCG Activator I lost over 60 lbs in 2010. I know the plan works, and as a creature of habit I will do what works for me again. I have been so unsuccessful in the past  with my weight control that I did not want that frustration again. Plus, the food plan makes perfect sense. It's full of energy and it makes me feel good. It's all fresh wholesome foods how can you go wrong?

My opinion is that processed food companies want you to buy their crap. Yes, it's all crap. if you want to eat right, pretend you are eating like your grandparents or great grandparents. They didn't run out to a fast food joint or open a box or eat a cereal bar. Okay, maybe a little of my consumerism came out there but you get my point.

This year is a bit different, I have a lot of friends and co - workers that really want to make positive change too. So, we all jumped on the band wagon and are positively reinforcing each other.

It's nice to know that you're not alone in wanting to better yourself. Facebook maybe full of crap, but having online friends that share positive words help motivate and send good vibes. Heck, we share recipes, suggestions, questions and stupid memes.

With all my success in the past I was asked to do an ad in a GNC magazine for hCG. I did this  photo back in 2011 and I can honestly say it's not altered. I have the original photo in file. It just looks weird cut and pasted. But this helps remind me of what I need to do.

Along with my food program I have incorporated Hot Yoga a few days per week. I'm not totally busting my ass, but Hot Yoga is no walk in the park, and its great workout Mentally as well. Plus, a few of gals are doing a monthly physical challenge to keep us on task.

I'm on a a restrictive meal plan of lean meats and veggies but yoga allows me to stay active and strong. Its' a win win combination.

Moving forward, its only begun!

I'm Hangry

There are some days that I just don't feel like getting out of bed. It's a Saturday and you could care less if the world had ended sometime the night before.

I know  most of you can agree, but  then you might have a family that couldn't feed themselves without you! Feels like that anyway.

In my case, I have all boys. And yes,  I'm including my husband as one of the boys.

The rest of my family doesn't have a weight problem, BECAUSE I feed them. But, if I don't prep food they act like the 3 stooges fumbling around the kitchen.

On Sunday's me and my husband tackle the local food store and load up for the week. I work hard to prep in the early evening as much as possible so we can just grab.  Otherwise during the week, we are taxed and start making bad choices.

I can't say every Sunday is open to just prep. but we do the best we can and the majority is done.

We eat leftovers in my house period. But they don't have to be boring.  Tons of recipes on the internet that you can spice things up. Just Google it!

I try to prepare as much food items as possible to last most of the week. I'll make rice, couscous, or quinoa as a base item. Maybe cut up veggies for a quick grab and sometimes I make a couple cold salads. My husband likes cucumber salad or coleslaw so that's an easy one. I grill a whatever meat for the week, that can be used tacos, stirfrys or strips on a salad.  Sometimes we eat vegetarian, its just easier than thawing burger or something. Casseroles or crock pot dishes are an option.

I basically make about 3 days worth of meals and the rest are parted out into create your own. My goal is to not throw food away so I'm careful  to not to over shop or prep. But, that's what freezers are for.

Got bananas left over? peal, toss into a baggie and freeze for future smoothies. Same goes for al berries and fruits if they are getting to ripe.

We don't do boxed meals as a rule. Loaded with sodium and words I can't pronounce. Actually, the only boxed meals in my house might be some mac and cheese or Stove Top stuffing left over from Thanksgiving.

GET YOUR STAPLES.We always have things like bread, milk, pasta, soup etc.Good standby's in a pinch. I also stock up on fresh tomatoes, salami, cheese, peppers, pickles, olives for a quick antipasto platter. Bada Bing! That is a big favorite in my house. We're an Italian family, what can I say. Capisce?

Moral of the story is, if you want to be successful in anything you have to make to plan. If you are trying to watch what you eat, you have actually know what you're eating. When we are hangry its hard to follow the rules.

The same concept goes for shopping. Eat first so you won't be the proud owner of Aisle 4.

Hot Yoga ( Are you Kidding?)

I mentioned that I do hot yoga. Never in a million years did I think that I would give up my hardcore beatings for smooth poetic movements (in a kick you in the ass sorta way)

I took a yoga class once at the YMCA years ago and it was a horrific experience. This was maybe 15 years ago and I had no clue as to what I was doing. I made it though the whole 60 minute class completely uncomfortable and in pain. I stormed off vowing to never take yoga again! After that godforsaken, horrible experience my back hurt for a week and yes, I blamed yoga. 

About 6 months ago, I had mentioned to Roberta that I just couldn't keep up with the tough exercises and that I needed to find something that was fun.  She suggested that I go with her to a HOT Yoga class. At first, I thought HOT Yoga are you insane? I have heard stories of how temperature is over 100 degrees and literally melt. I was imagining slipping in my own puddle of sweat and not breathing from the hot air. What are the survival rates here?

Anyway, I went to this cute little place downtown called FireFly and  I fell in love. The studio is small and it's above a restaurant that has been around forever. The walls are brick, floors are wood with calming candle light. Great, no one can see my straining face as I do down dog sweating profusely.

It turns out that yoga is awesome. My bad experience has been forgotten and now I have happy thoughts. What's nice, is the FireFly staff care about you as a person and show many different variations of how NOT to hurt yourself, but  also push yourself at the same time.

Now, I am an avid participate of Hot Yoga and know all the instructors names and its easy to strike up conversations with them as they are available after class for concerns or questions.

Plus, the play list is amazing. Music that I never knew existed or I haven't heard in 20 years. It makes you really want to get your groove on and stretch just a little bit more.

Discipline

10 days in on my food plan with HCG Activator and I've lost only 4lbs. The vodka was probably not my best idea but, I have to admit  this is more difficult to do than in the past. I'm sure its because I worked so hard at losing 80 lbs that It's really hard to get back on the wagon and handle restriction. I have a stubborn 15 lbs that needs to come off and its a slow process.  Fighting the aging process is no walk in the park either. To be totally honest I'm 98 % with the plan.  I'm not eating bad stuff but maybe a mouthful of peanut butter here or an extra tomato there or a bite of sauce on a piece of chicken which was probably more chicken that I was suppose to have. I know this program works, I just have to be honest with myself.

Time to take the comforter off.

This winter was hard, or at least it really felt like it. It finally appears to be spring now and I'm ready to cast aside the tights boots and dark sweaters. As I look at all my colorful spring clothes I begin to wonder.... will I fit into them? Panic sets in.  I dove in and pulled stuff out like it was sale rack. I tossed clothes on the bed to re-antiquate myself with my wardrobe. Better outcome than I thought. I did fit into most everything but, I felt like I had a coat on.

Let me better explain. I got the clothes on but I didn't feel quite right. Muffin top here, pound cake there. Yup, I had added a layer all over from the winter and my stuff was uncomfortable.  Now, I have to tell my body WINTER IS gone and its time to put together an action plan. I need to shed the comforter skin suit that I gained over the winter so I can wear my swimsuit.

I decided to do a round of HCG Activator this month to get kick start my spring/summer plan. Ive done it before and shed 62 lbs, I can do this again to take off a mediocre 15. My food plan is all prepped out for the week, I have everything prepared, my alarms are ready, water bottles filled. I have a wonderful support group of friends and family to lean on. You know, for the those days that you just can't make it without that cookie.

I have my pals at The Institution that for sure will make sure I'm getting my sweat on. So, you see I have NO excuse as to why I can't be successful with my success plan.

I got this!

New Years Resolution

I vowed that I was never going to make a New Years resolution. Feels like it's a set up for failure to me. So many people say they are going to eat healthy, move more etc.  But, its a trap and its hard to stick to it especially when it's 10 below zero and the last thing you want to do is go outside. Plus,he healthy foods you need are not available or a poor quality from some 3rd world country filled with pesticides. Get my point?

I lost my 80 lbs with better planning and better weather. I'm the kind of gal that always has to have challenges or projects to keep me moving or I get bored. Never stop moving and learning, plenty of time for sleep when your dead right?

I decided to learn Italian. Why not? it's a romance language and after all my husband is Italian and has lots of family in Italy. I have always found the country beautiful and intriguing and I hope to visit one day.

I vowed to do a little bit of work in it each day to keep myself going. First, I visited the local library for some world traveling in books and got my hands on some Language audio CD, to listen to on my commute to work. My kids think I'm nuts but they are stuck with it.

Then I downloaded as many free apps I could find and I visited the local library to get me started and I found an adult language class in my community  to take advantage of.. Even my dear husband has been supportive and bought me some books and we are attempting to learn it together. For Valentines Day he even made me a little Italian gift basket. He is so sweet to think like that.

Now, my schedule is already tight so between my food prepping fresh foods and my workouts at The Institution, I can do this.

Read All About it. DIETS SUCK

It's finally here. It's here?I've been sworn to secrecy until now. As my readers know my whole blog has been about up hill battles that I faced trying to lose weight and keep it off for good. The good, the bad and the ugly. Well, its paid off. My friend Stephen Adele explains it all and much more in this book called Diets Suck. Look closely, my picture is the smallest picture on the bottom but it's there. I'm pretty proud of Chapter Fourteen Week Five. Autographs anyone?? Little more about the book...

ABOUT THE BOOK:

In Diets Suck! (www.DietsSuckBook.com), we share an incredibly powerful, page-turning story, written narratively as a parable, based on seven very real, truly inspiring weight-loss transformation stories (losing from 50 to 113 lbs, and keeping it off for years). Inside each story, a valuable life-changing “Lesson” is delivered. As Audrey (the main character) soon learns, as those before her already have, the Seven Lessons are relatively simple, yet remarkably powerful, and if followed, will transform your body and help you regain your health and life.

It's warmer on Mars than in Michigan

I don't feel like I'm in Michigan anymore. It's -30 wind chill, my boys are on their 3 snow day, my car won't start, and we are buried under about 14 inches of snow and its too cold to go out and romp around.
So with that, what does one do with your time when you want to be nothing by lazy. Because its so cold all I want to eat is cook comfort food and keep the oven on. But, alas I'm holding pretty good on making sure I don't eat everything in the fridge. I prepped some healthy options in the house for me to eat as I'm spend time in the kitchen. I always make sure to eat first. The real trick when you are bored is to not exceed portions by snacking. If you're lazy, you need less food. I am also on my low calorie with HCG Activator right now so I have to mindful of how many calories I am eating and I need to add with I add exercise.

I have to admit that I have not worked out in the last couple days since we are not allowed to be out on the roads unless its necessary. In order to counteract, I am really limiting what I put into my mouth by drinking water and staying focused. I have a goal and I don't like to fail.

I finally dragged myself to the The Institution and boy, am I glad I did. I took a PiYo Strength class- It's a combination of yoga and strength training. You'll be amazed how much you sweat doing yoga poses and feeling your body stretch, feeling taller and straighter. It was a tricky few days but I still managed to lose 3 lbs in the wake of it all. Keep it up

Holiday trouble?

The holiday's are around the corner and you're expected to dress up, drink cocktails, and eat. How are you suppose to avoid the enviable whirlwind of food and drink over load.

When I started hCG activator over 3 years ago it was in March. I carefully mapped my spring and summer with no real big holidays, no parties and a good season for fresh veggies. I lost over 60lbs in about 6 months and that took me into September. School starts, schedules get crazy, gets cold and holiday parties.

This is the real test. My new body and how would I handle it? Will I stay at my current weight or will I fall into old habits?. I was done with my program and I was on my own. I learned what I needed to learn and now I had to put my knowledge forth and perform.

I had Thanksgiving dinner to prepare, cookies to bake, office parties, school parties, news years eve parties and champagne to drink .No wonder gyms memberships ramp up and healthy eating books fly off the shelves. We all go nutz, we binge and we suffer the consequences later.

The trick............Start early. Map out your holiday parties as best you can and know that you are going to indulge. You only live once, make the most of it but be smart about it. Don't eat like tomorrow will never come, because you will sober up and feel like jumping off a building.

Feel free to sample goodies and enjoy a glass of wine from time to time. It's called Balance.

I planned my holiday stretch to the point of ridiculous. I plotted,I planned, and I prepared. I wrote down my starting weight as I always do. I kept my journal next to my bed for daily entries about everything and anything.

Here are some strategies that might help you.

• Eat before you go to a food party. (that way you can be polite and still eat and not be piggy)
• Drink water along with your wine or cocktail. (Yes, at the same time)
• Chew gum. Probably not double bubble but something to keep your mouth busy.
• Look at least 3 days out. Plan your meals before and after the party. Good choices so you feel good emotionally and you feel good going into the party.
• Wear a sexy outfit when you strut your stuff.. If you already feel sexy, your self confidence will win and you won't want to feel pudgy in your outfit.
• Develop a routine of eating. Your body will thank you and it will control cravings.
• Don't starve your self. We all know that doesn't end well. 
• I would say exercise, but we all know that this time of year is tough, so do the best you can with that. Just survive the holiday.
• Don't be the new gal/guy in a matching jogging suit and headband fighting for the treadmill. 

GOOD LUCK!

Feeling like a Loser

I'm sorry that it seems like I've been in hiding. I really haven't but life has been catching up to me. I'm working really hard to put things back into perspective. I know its easy to say take time out for yourself but sometimes things just get out of control and you can't help but feel like you are sinking.
I just got back from a 3 day field trip with my son's fourth grade class and let me tell you it about killed me. 120 people in charter buses with overloaded schedules to stuff educational information into our children which most of them wont remember a 3rd of it.
Let me back up a little to lead to play out the story.  My boot camp was over 2 months ago and I swore that I would keep up the exercises. Well, life happened and I didn't do it. 2 months of not working out and slipping with my food choices and eating things that I don't normally eat. A chip here, bread there I gained a few lbs. I knew better but my will power wasn't there yet because of my busy schedule (excuses). I figured I can take off 5 lbs no problem. This popped up that popped up and I was up to needing to lose 10 lbs. WOW where is the time going??? What is going on.
I'm planning this 3 day trip of back to back activity knowing that my food choices were not going to easy but I really had no idea what I was getting into. I packed some apples, black berries, raspberries and water and we ate it all the first day. I also had some trail mix with almonds, chocolate chips and dried cranberries. A gallon size bag half full misc chips, pretzels, chex mix and the like, for the kid to munch on during the 4 hour trip to our destination and back.
Up at 4 am to load up and to  leave on the bus by 5:45. ZOOM. up early, to bed late and lot packed in the middle. We were held captive to subs, pizza and sandwiches on the bus. They did take us to a buffet.(sad face) We lived off of vending machines at rest areas. Never in a million years did I think I would be looking at a vending machine for dinner.

I get home at 4:30 pm and I'm ready for bed by 5. I hold out a bit longer but I wind up kissing my family good night and I bail by 7 only to get up a 5 am to start my daily routine of school and work. As I drag my butt out of bed I jump on scale and I'm mortified. I knew it was going to be bad but this bad? I weighed 201 lb. Highest weight in over 2 years. I was staying in between 189 and 193 for about 6 months and now I hit 201? I worked to hard for my weight to creep back on. I signed up for a 21 day boot camp to get me motivated. I missed 3 days because of my trip but I hit it today and I will every day for the next 17 days. I knew I was going to be tired and it was going to suck. Guess what? it did SUCK, a lot!. I had a hard time completing my rounds and keeping up and I was feeling like a loser. I pushed harder and didn't give up. Emeka says "Hey Carla, Long time no see" I can hardly breath, I'm really tired and I mumble whatever.......!

Now, I know that I'm not really loser but what happens with me when I've had a tough stretch and my world  feels like it crashes a little. I get on myself pretty hard and add up all the things that are going wrong. I'm usually in this feeling sorry for myself phase for a few hours and then I start to pull it together to climb out my own mess. I have some motivational tools that I fall back on that I use often. This blog is one of them. It's venting about problem so I recognize how I got here, I'm owning it. Then I plot what I'm going to do to fix it,  that's holding me accountable. So yes, boot camp sucked today, but I ate right today and I will get plenty of sleep to start another new day tomorrow.Just keep going. No magic here, just keep going and you will thank yourself later.

GREAT another Obstacle!

It was was a cold winter day in Michigan but the sun was out so I though I would take my pup for a walk. Dexter my Shepard was only about 8 months old and we were putting him through basic training and as part my homework was to keep it up. I bundled up and we headed out the door. We walked about 2 miles then headed home, I was cold.  We cut through a church parking lot and hit some ice. Dexter was to the left of me when his right foreleg slide out in front of my left leg. I saw his leg cross mine and in that quick second all I could see was me stepping on his leg taking a step forward. I was afraid that I would break it. It was instant reaction to fall forward on my knees to avoid it. This all happened in an instant. 250 lbs + of me crashed straight down on  my knees on  icy pavement. I screamed  in agony as I fell over in pain and poor Dexter was freaking out. I held on to his leash and didn't let go afraid he would run off and get hit by a car. I laid on the icy pavement looking up at the sky just screaming and crying holding onto to a cowering dog that was scared holding his tail between his legs.  Both my legs felt like they were broke. I wasn't able to get up, at least not yet. Cars driving by and  NO ONE  saw me lying flat on my back with a dog attached to me. I could have been bleeding to death.  The pain was overwhelming as it was surging up my legs into my hips and back. I was trying to think how am I going to get home? I was only a block away  but I had no phone, I had to try to walk and soon because it was getting really cold and it started to snowing again.

I managed to get myself on one knee painfully as the left one was getting stiff. I could hardly bend it to get myself up. Dexter looked totally confused  and scare as I was pulling on his leash trying to use him as leverage.  My  jeans were tight,  wet and cold and  restricted my movement. I limped, and dragged myself whimpering. Seemed like it took an hour to go one block.  Poor Dexter kept looking up at me very timid and ready to run. My husband was sitting in his lazy boy working on something and didn't really say anything but hello as he walked past him directly into the bedroom. I was trying not to sob.I don't like pain and I surely don't tell anyone when I am in pain. I dropped the lease and Dexter ran into his kennel.  I left a trail of clothes all the way to the bedroom, I didn't care I wanted to die. Trying to pull off wet frozen jeans was painful. I crawled on to the bed slowly and  put a pillow under my knees. As I warmed up they started to swell  more and the pain increased, there were throbbing now.
Tom heard me whimpering and came in to see why.  My face was red, my eyes full of tears. I looked up at him and began sobbing again. My right knee grew about the size of a soccer ball instantly and was turning all kinds of colors, red, yellow, black and blue. Tom said we needed to go to urgent care right away.  He helped me put a dress on to get into the car as it was the only thing I could wear given the circumstance. I had ice bags on my knees as I hobbled to the car. After x rays it turns out that I only had badly bruised the bones on both knees but the right knee was a bit worse. I managed to bruise the tendons and the bones. I had to wear a knee braces on my right knee and crutches for about a week, I have stairs at work and it was horrible experience. I was miserable and all I could thinking about is how am I going to work out if my knees don't work. What if I have damaged them to the point of I can't workout anymore? I'm going to get fatter and fatter. I'm DOOMED! I was really feeling sorry for myself and had no idea what I was going to do.
It took a couple months for me to not feel daily pain, but the pain never really went away. Now I had another obstacle to deal with as if I didn't have enough.

Smiley Faces and Sad Faces.

My weight was 260 lbs and I felt helpless even with all the working out and watching my food choices.  When I was 43 I started to have trouble with my menstrual cycle. It was getting physically harder to work out or even function normally.  I had a lot of cramps and was just miserable. Along with the physical aspect of things, I was mentally feeling frustrated. I was fatigued, achy and getting very depressed. I had no regularity anymore.SURPRISE!! The time of the month (TOM) would show up randomly and often. I had my annual appointment with my Gyn and I explained the symptoms crying through the whole thing. She said because of my age that it was important to get checked out, we didn't want any surprises. I made an appointment and she gave me some options.  We decided to go with the Ablation procedure and hopefully that would take care of everything.
http://women.webmd.com/endometrial-ablation-16200

That procedure was the best thing I could have done. It turns out I was a perfect candidate as I did have some mommy parts that needed to looked into.  My energy increased, my stamina improved, my body stopped hurting and most of all my depression lifted and I felt like a new person, I was eager to get back to my active lifestyle with new found motivation.

After my procedure I was back at the grind again. By late October of 2010 I got my weight down to 242. Looking back in my records it took me over a year to lose 18 lbs. REALLY, ONLY 18 lbs? I look back at my journals now and I can see the frustrations of failing over and over. I used smiley and sad faces I see many sad faces with some really deep pen strokes of scribbles  Like, I wanted to stab the book. But I had to hold myself accountable no one else was going to.

So there it is, yet another journal entry that showed jut how frustrated I was. Some times you can just feel doomed when you put effort into something and not to see results. I was glad that I lost 18 lbs ,but I still was not comfortable in my own skin. I was not meant to be this size, I just knew it.